Thursday, August 9, 2012

Natural Difference-Part One

I recently heard a women comment on all the relationship articles in magazines.  “They are all written by women; men just don’t care.”  Well here is one written by a man.

Anyone that is in or has been in a relationship knows the difficulties in male/female communication.  How many women would say, “Our problem is that we don’t communicate!”  We do communicate but not in the same way.  After having the experience of my own relationships and hormone consultations with hundreds of women I have learned a few things.  I am not female so I can never completely understand a female perspective. Just to be politically correct these are generalizations.   I think a woman communicates with a man in the same way she would communicate with another female, and vice versa. 

Women want to be understood and may expect their man to just know what they want.  I have actually heard them say, “He should just know what I want.”  Your man will never know unless you clearly tell him.  Men are linear and go from point A to point B.  That’s it.  This may be as difficult for a woman to understand as it is for men to truly understand women.

My friend’s wife would tell her husband, “You are not hearing what I am saying.”  He could repeat her comments but did not look at her when she spoke.  In his mind, repeating back her comments IS listening.  He thinks he is doing what she has asked.  She wanted him to look at her when she was talking.  That way she would feel he was engaged in what she was saying which makes her feel heard.  She did not actually ask him to look at her.  To a woman this “should” be understood but not to a man.  If the man is not fully engaged in the discussion, then she is wondering if he really cares.  She may/will wonder if what he is doing or looking at is more important than her!  This is a perfect example of telling your man exactly what you want.  Keep it simple and direct.  “I want you to look at me when I am talking to you.”  That is the way men communicate.   

Stay tuned for Part Two

Dare I say “Stay Well!’?

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