Sometime men and women can get something stuck in their head that has nothing to do with reality. This happens when we assume the motives for some action. I am reminded of the story of the women whose husband was distant. He barely responded to her conversation. She thought the worst and her imagination went wild. She felt as if he did not love her any more. All the time he was thinking, ‘lawn mower won’t start-can’t figure out why!’ He may also make assumptions about why his wife behaves one way or another. It is better to ask. She could ask why you are so distant. He could ask, have I done something wrong. If she says, “Nothing is wrong”, you know you are in trouble.
Men communicating with another man is different that a woman communicating with other women. I have heard it said that, “People listen to others so they can have their turn to talk.” I think this is true for men but I am not sure about women. Of course this is not true listening.
Women seem to be able to follow more than one conversation at a time. It seems that it is also acceptable for all to talk at the same time. A man can follow one conversation at a time, which is why you will never hear two men talking at the same time unless they are arguing. A man considers it rude to be interrupted. Women do not think of it as interrupting, just communicating.
It also appears that in some women/women conversations there are assumptions of the motives another woman may have. Perhaps these ulterior motives are real and are understood by women. Women that have these perceptions may also assume men have them as well. The men that I associate with do not have ulterior motives and don’t play games. Our motives are direct motives: food, work, play, sex, and sleep (not necessarily in any order). We are just that simple. That’s it.